When push comes to shove, who will be there for me?
Who will be there to catch me when I fall?
Who will be there to pick me up?

I've never trusted a person in my entire life, its been built layer upon layer upon layer. People may think they know me, who do is the person that they really know? I cannot answer that particular question either. I've hidden beneath so many layers and personalities over the years, I can't stop. I just build a new one on top.

Now, more than ever, I feel so alone... I feel as though I stand alone on an island surrounded by sharks. I either won't or don't trust anyone in my life. Not my frens, not my family, not anyone... Of course I do have some good friends, but in the end, they have their own lives, they can't be there for me indefinitely.

I can't possibly ask them to give up everything for me and be there just for me. But unless I start learning to trust people, I'll be alone for a long time... Cause this loneliness I feel...

I've lost myself, lost my purpose. I'm now just drifting around trying to find my way home. I want to cry, to scream, to yell, and I want there to be someone to sit next to me, not to tell me everything will be alright, because everything will never be alright.

I don't want that someone to tell me they know what I'm going through, I need them to just be THERE for me. To sit and not talk, to keep me company in my darkest of days, to help me find the light that's missing at the end of my tunnel.

But I'm me.

I'll scream

I'll yell

I'll cry

All in my mind's eye

And on the outside?
Business as usual.

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